According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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