it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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