i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
What a dumb baby whore.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
