i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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