I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
