All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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