You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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