so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm always down for nudity.
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