We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
