what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The adults are the big ones right?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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