When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
No subtext here. People are naked.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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