we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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