Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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