What a fucking waste of an outfit
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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