I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
