Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Text me some of your sweat
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
