found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
