with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
