Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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