do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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