I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
