Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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