im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
