Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
