I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
