I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
