So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
