Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
