genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
