I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
3pm strippers are depressing
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
