I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
