we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
