So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
