I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
