someone threw a dead crab at me
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Randomize
