your parents love me but you hate me
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
