real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Randomize
