How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
