I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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