Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
