Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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