everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
