My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
