Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
