@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
