Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my shit smells like andre
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
