im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just saw a hot homeless man
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
