It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
