Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
