Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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