I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
