with your own penis?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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