Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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